It is currently Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:38 pm



Reply to topic  [ 46939 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 939  Next
 The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread 
Author Message
User avatar
Reply with quote
 The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Image


Let's talk about sex, baby. Or you know, the mushy stuff.

I'll start: what do you think is an acceptable timeframe to wait before sleeping with someone you want to have a long-term relationship with? Is there one?

_________________
blog
**
last.fm
**
tumblr


Mon Mar 01, 2010 1:26 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

If there is an acceptable period it's certainly different for each person. I don't happen to think there is one, relationships hinge on issues larger than exactly when you started sleeping with each other. :P

_________________
we sing to ourselves in our cars, music is our sanctuary. anywhere you put it it's ours, our living voice, our living testament


Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:08 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

DJ Rkod wrote:
If there is an acceptable period it's certainly different for each person. I don't happen to think there is one, relationships hinge on issues larger than exactly when you started sleeping with each other. :P

Well I know that. but there is such a thing as moving too fast. And I know a lot of people believe that the longer you wait, the better. Just curious if anyone here believes that, or if we're all "do whatever you want, when you want it."

_________________
blog
**
last.fm
**
tumblr


Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:12 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

I believe the longer you wait, the better. Sex has a way of complicating things. I think the longer you can go without involving it in the relationship, the longer you have to get to know each other without those complications. However, I know I'm in the minority here.

_________________
It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:22 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

What was the poor man's chloroform again? Motor oil?

_________________
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive


Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:38 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Cool. I hope this does well.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:06 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Not if I can help it.

_________________
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:06 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Funniest piece of sex advice I've ever read: Never brush your teeth for 4 hours after sleeping with a prostitute.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:12 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

You wouldn't have enough time to clean the rest of yourself if you spent 4 hours on your teeth.

_________________
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:14 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Flak wrote:
You wouldn't have enough time to clean the rest of yourself if you spent 4 hours on your teeth.


Makes you wonder the type of prostitute you visited that led to this level of obsessiveness.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:20 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
if we're all "do whatever you want, when you want it."

Well, you know me.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:40 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
Well I know that. but there is such a thing as moving too fast. And I know a lot of people believe that the longer you wait, the better. Just curious if anyone here believes that, or if we're all "do whatever you want, when you want it."

Sometimes the anticipation is greater than what you're anticipating.

_________________
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:45 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

How do I trick a man into having sex with me?

_________________
Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my personality - it's all evaporating. I continuously feel that I was someone else, that I felt something else, that I thought something else. What I'm attending here is a show with another set. And the show I'm attending is myself. Fernando Pessoa

Live. Laugh. Love. - Freddy Krueger


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:48 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

It's as easy as 123-456-7890.

_________________
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:49 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Philosophe rouge wrote:
How do I trick a man into having sex with me?


Step 1. Go up to a guy.
Step 2. Say "Do you want to fuck?"
Step 3. ....
Step 4. Profit

It's easier than the 39 Steps!


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:54 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Could you love a man with hay fever?


Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:56 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
Well I know that. but there is such a thing as moving too fast. And I know a lot of people believe that the longer you wait, the better. Just curious if anyone here believes that, or if we're all "do whatever you want, when you want it."


The co-author of the non-fiction book Three Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson, met his wife six days before he married her back '96. They're still together. Also, this is a really good book.

So, I think DJ is right that it's different for each person and each relationship. I would say one should follow their heart; if it feels like the right time with the person you're with then go for it. If it's the right person for you then the sex shouldn't complicate anything, it should just be a natural part of the relationship.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:03 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Sippy!

_________________
It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:04 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Alphy!


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:07 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Thanks for the input. I'm just a little confused in this new relationship I'm in because I've been friends with the guy for years so I feel like the usual rules don't really apply, especially when it comes to timing. We haven't been a couple for very long, but because we have this strong basis of friendship, we're super close, and feel comfortable being intimate with each other, both physically and emotionally. We've done pretty much everything but sex at this point, and a huge part of me is saying "Just go for it, it'll only make the connection stronger." But after I got burned from my last relationship I told myself it was a good idea to delay sex. I feel like I should disregard that in this case because I'm sure he's not going to hurt me right now, but I also feel like only a fool disregards what they've learned from their past mistakes. Hmm. I guess I should just talk to him about it.

_________________
blog
**
last.fm
**
tumblr


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:10 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
Thanks for the input. I'm just a little confused in this new relationship I'm in because I've been friends with the guy for years so I feel like the usual rules don't really apply, especially when it comes to timing. We haven't been a couple for very long, but because we have this strong basis of friendship, we're super close, and feel comfortable being intimate with each other, both physically and emotionally. We've done pretty much everything but sex at this point, and a huge part of me is saying "Just go for it, it'll only make the connection stronger." But after I got burned from my last relationship I told myself it was a good idea to delay sex. I feel like I should disregard that in this case because I'm sure he's not going to hurt me right now, but I also feel like only a fool disregards what they've learned from their past mistakes. Hmm. I guess I should just talk to him about it.

If you do want to wait, and let it build up, make sure he knows why.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:12 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Pheline wrote:
I guess I should just talk to him about it.

Bingo!

_________________
we sing to ourselves in our cars, music is our sanctuary. anywhere you put it it's ours, our living voice, our living testament


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:12 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Philosophe rouge wrote:
How do I trick a man into having sex with me?


This could take a little time and effort.
Image

_________________
I Watch Films, But...
In a word, I think that, far from favoring directors’ formal inventiveness, widescreen, instead, stifles it. It is, I’m more and more persuaded, if not the only, at least the main culprit for the expressive poverty of the image today. - Eric Rohmer
Vimeo / / / Flickr


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:13 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Ok. There is this girl who is into me, as she is always texting and calling me. This has been going on for a few weeks now and I don't think that she is getting my message. I couldn't act less interested if I tried, yet she continues to try to set things up. I denied her invitation to go sled riding 3 days in a row for pete's sake. Anyways, I need to grow some balls and just straight up tell her that I don't want anything to do with her. She is nice and really attractive, but she is unintelligent, boring to be around, and has been around the block a few times.

And there is this other girl who my group of friends has been hanging out with now and then who has taken a liking to me. The thing is, she is so freaking annoying. She is a straight up diva and typical of one of those girls that you see in music videos. Bunch of back tattoos, nipple piercings, fake tits, etc. All she does is talk about herself. And how hot she is. And how she's dated all of these professional athletes. And shows pictures of her with LiL Wayne at a hotel party. And how expensive her clothes are. And how other girls are ugly. She's been trying to get me to hang out, watch movies, go out to dinner (which I did once), etc. But I can't take it anymore.

I need to think of a nice way to tell them I'm not interested, although the latter situation is dicey, as I can see this girl blowing things up since she hangs out with people I know.

I swear that I can't meet normal people.

_________________
Don't you worry even if things end up a bit too heavy we'll all float on alright.


Recently Viewed

The Thing | van Heijningen Jr., 2011 | *
Take Shelter | Nichols, 2011 | ***
Martha Marcy May Marlene | Durkin , 2011 | **
Melancholia | von Trier, 2011 | *1/2
The Descendants | Payne, 2011 | **1/2


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:13 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Epistemophobia wrote:
If you do want to wait, and let it build up, make sure he knows why.

Right, I would definitely tell him the whole story. The thing is, I don't want to wait. I just want to be cautious because I really really want this to work out. And I think he feels the same way, otherwise we probably would have done it already. We've had a few opportunities. I'll ask him what he thinks next time I see him.

Also, I'm having dinner with his whole family tonight. Wish me luck.

_________________
blog
**
last.fm
**
tumblr


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:16 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
Right, I would definitely tell him the whole story. The thing is, I don't want to wait. I just want to be cautious because I really really want this to work out. And I think he feels the same way, otherwise we probably would have done it already. We've had a few opportunities. I'll ask him what he thinks next time I see him.

I'm sure it'll be fine then.

Orpheline wrote:
Also, I'm having dinner with his whole family tonight. Wish me luck.

I bet families love you. :P


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:17 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

jeevo wrote:
Ok. There is this girl who is into me, as she is always texting and calling me. This has been going on for a few weeks now and I don't think that she is getting my message. I couldn't act less interested if I tried, yet she continues to try to set things up. I denied her invitation to go sled riding 3 days in a row for pete's sake. Anyways, I need to grow some balls and just straight up tell her that I don't want anything to do with her. She is nice and really attractive, but she is unintelligent, boring to be around, and has been around the block a few times.

And there is this other girl who my group of friends has been hanging out with now and then who has taken a liking to me. The thing is, she is so freaking annoying. She is a straight up diva and typical of one of those girls that you see in music videos. Bunch of back tattoos, nipple piercings, fake tits, etc. All she does is talk about herself. And how hot she is. And how she's dated all of these professional athletes. And shows pictures of her with LiL Wayne at a hotel party. And how expensive her clothes are. And how other girls are ugly. She's been trying to get me to hang out, watch movies, go out to dinner (which I did once), etc. But I can't take it anymore.

I need to think of a nice way to tell them I'm not interested, although the latter situation is dicey, as I can see this girl blowing things up since she hangs out with people I know.

I swear that I can't meet normal people.

Tell them you're gay.

Really, I would just be direct and polite, and tell both of them that you don't feel a romantic connection. Don't make it about them or about you, just about the absence of chemistry. That gives them a lot less to be upset about.

_________________
blog
**
last.fm
**
tumblr


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:18 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Epistemophobia wrote:
I bet families love you. :P

Heh. His parents love me. They're super nice. It's his siblings I'm a little worried about. His sister has the same first name as me, so I'm sure there will be a few awkward moments where I think someone is talking to me and they're not. :-|

I'm more worried about my parents getting to know him better, just because he's kind of a socialist and definitely an atheist. As long as they don't find that out though, we're good.

_________________
blog
**
last.fm
**
tumblr


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:21 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

I'd like to have a relationship, except I have neither the time or the money to spend on the search. I commute 2 or more hours a day to and from the city, so one-night stands are out, never been into them anyways. Finding a girlfriend comes last on my list of priorities. Besides I'd feel like I would have to explain why I'm still in school at 25 and barely finished. The thought of trying to validate myself to some theoretical stranger just exhausts me.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:22 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
Thanks for the input. I'm just a little confused in this new relationship I'm in because I've been friends with the guy for years so I feel like the usual rules don't really apply, especially when it comes to timing. We haven't been a couple for very long, but because we have this strong basis of friendship, we're super close, and feel comfortable being intimate with each other, both physically and emotionally. We've done pretty much everything but sex at this point, and a huge part of me is saying "Just go for it, it'll only make the connection stronger." But after I got burned from my last relationship I told myself it was a good idea to delay sex. I feel like I should disregard that in this case because I'm sure he's not going to hurt me right now, but I also feel like only a fool disregards what they've learned from their past mistakes. Hmm. I guess I should just talk to him about it.


I really think if he's a good guy and a good match for you, you being excited to have sex with him should only be a positive thing. I know getting your hopes up for a relationship to work out, and then having those hopes dashed, sucks. Sucks really, really bad. But you want to know what sucks worse? Getting stuck with a guy that's not a good match for you because you weren't honest with who you really are. And trust me, I know this from experience (I am of course referring to my ex and not Sly :P ).


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:25 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

I miss having someone.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:27 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Every dude I've ever dated has cheated on me with the girl he is now married to. Seriously, every single one. In retrospect, they've all apologized and told me that I was way too good to be with them.. which I guess is a good thing, although not very helpful. All this has resulted in me feeling like I've never been in a real relationship or ever been really cared about by a mate.

_________________
It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:38 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

alphy wrote:
Every dude I've ever dated has cheated on me with the girl he is now married to. Seriously, every single one. In retrospect, they've all apologized and told me that I was way too good to be with them.. which I guess is a good thing, although not very helpful. All this has resulted in me feeling like I've never been in a real relationship or ever been really cared about by a mate.

:(


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:41 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
I'll start: what do you think is an acceptable timeframe to wait before sleeping with someone you want to have a long-term relationship with? Is there one?


I'm an advocate of getting it whenever you can get it :D


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:51 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Orpheline wrote:
Tell them you're gay.

Really, I would just be direct and polite, and tell both of them that you don't feel a romantic connection. Don't make it about them or about you, just about the absence of chemistry. That gives them a lot less to be upset about.


This is what I have to do. I have drawn this out so long, as I should have done this in the first place to save me some trouble. Heh, I haven't been able to facebook chat with my friends for a while because the one girl is always on and I have no desire to talk to her.

_________________
Don't you worry even if things end up a bit too heavy we'll all float on alright.


Recently Viewed

The Thing | van Heijningen Jr., 2011 | *
Take Shelter | Nichols, 2011 | ***
Martha Marcy May Marlene | Durkin , 2011 | **
Melancholia | von Trier, 2011 | *1/2
The Descendants | Payne, 2011 | **1/2


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:55 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Oh Jeevo

_________________
blog
twitter
letterboxd
almost arthouse


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:57 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Wolfy wrote:
:(


Thanks. I know that eventually someone will be able to get past the fact that I'm not the best looking girl out there, but I am funny, giving, loving, smart and excellent at giving head. :shifty:
Honestly though, my history with relationships has left me pretty damaged as far as self-confidence is concerned.. I also usually assume the worst when it comes to men and fidelity.

_________________
It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:57 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

alphy wrote:

Thanks. I know that eventually someone will be able to get past the fact that I'm not the best looking girl out there, but I am funny, giving, loving, smart and excellent at giving head. :shifty:
Honestly though, my history with relationships has left me pretty damaged as far as self-confidence is concerned.. I also usually assume the worst when it comes to men and fidelity.

Hang in there. You'll find a good one.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:59 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1806

_________________
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:59 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

alphy wrote:
Every dude I've ever dated has cheated on me with the girl he is now married to. Seriously, every single one. In retrospect, they've all apologized and told me that I was way too good to be with them.. which I guess is a good thing, although not very helpful. All this has resulted in me feeling like I've never been in a real relationship or ever been really cared about by a mate.

I'd never dump alphy.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:59 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

alphy wrote:

Thanks. I know that eventually someone will be able to get past the fact that I'm not the best looking girl out there, but I am funny, giving, loving, smart and excellent at giving head. :shifty:
Honestly though, my history with relationships has left me pretty damaged as far as self-confidence is concerned.. I also usually assume the worst when it comes to men and fidelity.

I wonder if those cheaters are still cheating on their wives, Alphy. I've never been cheated on, but twice- two male friends of mine wanted me to be their side dish. And I knew one of those guys girlfriends quite well too. Bad Male behavior I've experienced doesn't deter me at all though.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:04 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Epistemophobia wrote:
Hang in there. You'll find a good one.

Thanks, Bear!

TAS wrote:
I'd never dump alphy.

That's what they all say.. while they're banging their future wife.

_________________
It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:05 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

I don't think I could cheat. After being the other guy and staying in a relationship I hated even though I had an almost sure thing with a girl I was close with, I guess it's not in my blood.

_________________
The Director's Cut + Light & Sound Are Ample Food
last.fmdvdsbooksicheck
It's a Wednesday night baby, and I'm alive


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:07 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

alphy wrote:


That's what they all say.. while they're banging their future wife.

I'd find a way to blame it on Panthro somehow.

As for cheating, it always makes no sense, you can easily dump the partner before you actually cheat if you just have to. But why bother with a side dish when you can have the entree?


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:11 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Mallory wrote:
I wonder if those cheaters are still cheating on their wives, Alphy. I've never been cheated on, but twice- two male friends of mine wanted me to be their side dish. And I knew one of those guys girlfriends quite well too. Bad Male behavior I've experienced doesn't deter me at all though.


I'm not sure if any of them are currently cheating on their wives, but one of them tried to have sex with me the night before he got engaged, so I wouldn't be surprised by it. Another has sent me inappropriate texts several times during his 4 year marriage. I usually just stop answering or ask him how his wife is.
I don't know that bad male behavior deters me, but it's definitely made me more cautious. I've tried not to let is damage my psyche, but after awhile you start wondering why you're the second choice instead of the first. (Not that I want to be with someone that cheats on me, but it still makes me curious why I'm always the side dish.)

_________________
It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:13 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

I would die if I were cheated on.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:16 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

We need some stories of cheating women to balance it out.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:17 am
Profile WWW
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Sonechka wrote:
I would die if I were cheated on.

Trust and honesty is such a big thing for me, I think I'd go to jail.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:17 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Mallory wrote:
Trust and honesty is such a big thing for me, I think I'd go to jail.
... because you'd be doing some murdering when you found out?


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:18 am
Profile
User avatar
Reply with quote
Post Re: The Sex & Relationship Advice Thread

Sonechka wrote:
... because you'd be doing some murdering when you found out?

Ha yeah.

But for reals, I'd probably just dump him immediately. No amount of apologizing would work, likely.


Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:19 am
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 46939 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 939  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Popcorn Reviews, Quite-Gone Genie and 13 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.