Sorry, I entirely forgot I did.

George A. Romero and Martin Landau both died today. Damn.

I honestly don't think that Obscure should be allowed to watch Disney's THE DESCENDANTS 2 with us

He's Team Good as far as I'm concerned

.

.

FUCK

Alright, everyone, so life is a completely toxic miserable shit show and even your so called "friends" are a bunch of flake ass nothings

Should I just end it? Be honest

HI OBSCURE, YOUR BUDDY WANTS TO FUCKING KILL HIMSELF MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOG OFF OF BATTLEGROUNDS AND SAY HI? BUSY MY FUCKING ASSHOLE

"You don't know me! I don't owe you anything!"

Evil, if you want to help, well, I don't know anymore. Apparently every single little thing is fucking broken and I just can't anymore. I just fucking can't.

All I want is for my entire fucking history to get erased, for not a single fucking soul on this planet to know who I am or how fucking hard this is on me, you fucking leeches.

Seriously can I please get permabanned or something? I don't want to do this anymore. I fucking hate this

Goodbye. I wish for you love and prosperity, as always. It's never been any different. I fucking love you people to death

Um are you okay, Nameless?

nameless, I'm pretty concerned about you.

Guy we need to talk about Nameless. We need to talk to Nameless and check if he's ok.

we're not gonna talk about judy at all

nameless, here's a number you can call when you need help. Evil mentioned you lived in Ontario so I found this service
http://www.mentalhealthhelpline.ca/Home/Call

Nameless lives in BC.

Nameless, maybe now is a time to seek out help. A voice from the darkness will tell you that it won't matter, that nothing can change. That voice is an idiot.

It sounded like you couldn't see him in Ontario?

I was talking about the long missing Obscure Allusion To in that post.

Oh well. It's my mistake then. Still, he should call someone

Yeah, I'm certainly not arguing that point.

Is there a crisis center in BC someone can call and have them do a wellness check on him? Kinda like what Genie did to save Samm's life years back?

I just want to get treated like a fucking human, you know? Not some wounded animal in a fucking cage, no, just delete me. I'm so fucking done trying for anyone, and I'm not suicidal in saying that. i just fucking hate PEOPLE, okay? This just makes me sick. Typing makes me sick. Communicating like this makes me sick. I am sick from this. I need to stop

You're not a wounded animal in a cage, you're a long time pal of ours that we're worried about and hope to see find peace and contentfullness in life. Not much else I can say aside from cliches grounded in honesty.

Thank you, smoke bomb

I just dunno what to say beyond tread ground. Things don't look very good here, as in, I have maybe 5 months of stability and I hope to god... yeah, I'm pretty fucked overall. There's not much here in Victoria, there's not much in BC. I can't afford to get off disability, I can't afford to live in BC. I'm on the knife's edge on getting out of my suite in regards to my family situation and it's the most I can do not to just go and scream in their fucking faces, which I have, and it's not helping

There's no chill, and I don't exactly know what people can do to help... my trust is at an all time low here and I don't have a single moment without anxiety, plus the idea of living outside of the area where my support is set up and everything, yeah, complete fucking nightmare. I just want a quiet place where I can write out a lawsuit

It's, like, there are all of these tools available to me but I can't get over the humps as to why they make me uncomfortable, like texting and whatnot. It's just me, like, I can't explain it, but it is really fucking lonely. I just really don't want communication to be constantly on this pretense where I'm just fucked in the head boy and there are boundaries and whatnot, like, for fuck sakes I'm not like this in real life. I'm just quiet and crying right now

Is consueling/therapy a feasible option for you? I can't figure what to say that'll help you other than trying to find a trained and empathetic ear that could hopefully help you find some clarity and begin the form plans to go forward towards the peace you seek. Have you been keeping up with your music? Usually exercising creative talents into producing something you're proud of can help with a good endorphin boost.

No, this is the result of me being on the tail end of all of that

Basically, i'm really tired of hearing it in wake of people actually being nice to me. I really have good reason to hate this whole race of ours, like, there is no solution other than to just hang out with people and take my mind off of it by, yknow, being around people. I do not get enjoyment doing anything alone anymore, like, how many years has it been of this? Did I get anywhere? No. But it's still necessary. I still don't have any perceivable options.

Like, I am kinda the textbook definition of someone who is perfectly valid when it comes to killing themselves. I really hate being alive, like, there is absolutely nothing in this for me and my family makes me so fucking miserable that I spend every day in tears hoping this just fucking ends, like, I was this close yesterday to just pouncing on my dad and I would have kept punching until someone stopped me. I'm kinda toeing the line of blunt psychopathic tendencies here and they weren't there, or as pronounced, two years ago. This was all him

If you want to help me sue the ever loving shit out of the Luchies family, that would be rad

That's part of the reason why I'm still posting lately because, and it sounds weird, but it's a perfect thermometer for my temperament. I'm kinda doing science with all of this where I'm gauging where I am at and what exactly sets me off... I'm trying to encapsulate the feeling my brain has when it clamps up and becomes painful. It sucks to say but a great deal of my being is selfishly driven... via necessity. I'm VERY trapped in my own mind here. There's nothing taking me out of it. Video games don't work, dicking around on the internet doesn't work, my sense of humor is dead (thanks Dan Harmon), and yeah, generally miserable. I can't compose when I'm miserable, I just don't have Nine Inch Nails in me... we've heard it all before

I know the feelings you're going through, maybe not at the same intensity but it's still a place I've been and I'm sorry you're there and there's nothing I can but hope good fortune can come your way so maybe you can at least enjoy the small joyous distractions of life again.

I'm experiencing a similar situation to you nameless, with regards to money. I can't say it gets better cause it is an awfully bitter place to be in. It's always easy to say to someone get a job, however you need to find the energy to get one in the first place. I don't have any advice, just letting you know you're not alone.

What we need is marijuana legalized all over North America

I definitely need a job (pot farming?). I feel like my brain is back into submission mode. I had a rough week of family fighting. It's just a lot of factors, a short amount of time, and my brain slips in and out of knife edge insanity and normal. Is this what the next four years are going to be like until I hit 30 and have a 30 year old crisis? The ride never ends

I'm sorry, I'm going to keep it light and not end of the world dramatic, but that was very real. Thank you for being there because I get pretty trapped. It hasn't been easy holding onto my principals (still have my laurels) regarding empathy and such, most of it is dad projection. Yesterday was fucked. It's just a harsh bridging point and it's tough moving forward knowing I gotta be strict with my boundaries regarding them because I just can't anymore. I was raised by Trumps and it's tough to shake off

Like, how do you unsnap a snapping point. Snapper? It was just like... everything. Social media, fam, friends, just this massive knot which I feel needed constant sorting and the solution is tough. Meeting new people, with new boundaries in mind and whatnot, it's... *gulp*... adulty. More like apocalypsey. Total eclipse of the heart. Eyes without a face... a little respect

I hit the point, everyone

Fiiiine I guess Obscure can watch Disney's The Descendants 2 with us

If we're team evil, he's team horrendous

I hope shit gets better for you, Nameless. If I'm not more supportive or such it's just cause I don't know what to do or say about problems I can't fix or at least have some idea how to fix, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear my advice on fixing yours. Wish you all the best.

Usually I just begrudgingly shuffle through a cycle of days and weeks until something happens that loads my brains with endorphins and that gets me through to the next snapping point.

That seems to be the theme, like, it's not just you saying that but those awful professionals charging an arm and a leg to provide council. It's been tough packing it all up in order to put it behind me and it's always felt like I'm doing this whole fixing myself to be more temperate around my dad + family. I appreciate the honesty when it comes to me because I get the truth in it and it's definitely not my dad who is teaching the real lessons in all of this. I've been horribly defensive when it comes to the gallows humor and feel that's more my dad coming out because, in general, I appreciate saltiness. My dad's such a Jerry that he threatens me when I swear

That was today, alright. I went outside and accomplished errands! I honestly don't even know why I'm in a good mood. I got a lot out yesterday, that was a trip. I go through bad sleep cycles and I found myself in a car with 3 hours of sleep fighting with my dad not even knowing what's going on. Nothing was accomplished that day

Six kids the guy had. Six!

Damn shame, that

"The person in whom its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a bruning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t’ and ‘Hang On!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling." - David Foster Wallace

Yeah, I read Infinite Jest, remember. The whole book, not just Obscure's snippets.

God my mom hated Hybrid Theory when I slapped that shit into the tape deck, 2nd CD I ever bought. I loved all the Gundam toys scattered around their music videos

I find that the chances of me finding a workable quote from the book are higher than not regardless of my consumption of it. It's a perfectly googleable book

I paid less attention to Linkin as their career went on, but I still have fond memories of me and my best friend bumping HT plenty the year it came out, back when I was still a Nu Metal kid, and for that, I'll always have a little soft spot somewhere in my heart for Chester & company; RIP.